Today marks three years since we began trying to have a baby. If I could go back in time to that wonderful, romantic day and tell myself that three years later I would still be childless, I would never have believed myself.
Infertility is something that no one ever expects. I'm sure there are women who have family history of it, or were diagnosed with PCOS or something similar when they were young and could have a suspicion. But, for the most part, I think many couples are completely taken by surprise.
I just can't believe that it has been three years. The pain and waiting seems endless and like it's taken an eternity. And when I look back at the tests and treatments and doctor appointments, it doesn't feel like we've done that much.
I definitely didn't expect the last three years to happen. And I hope that I won't be writing a similar post to this one a year from today. I'm tired of spending my life in two week increments, of visiting doctor after doctor trying to find help. I'm tired of getting excited that I'm pregnant and having my hopes dashed, and over-analyzing early pregnancy symptoms. And, I'm tired of being passed up and getting left behind. Not like there is an order for people to have babies, but it sure feels like it should be my turn. I just hope and pray that the end of this journey is near.