Onward

I will begin my fifth round of Clomid tomorrow, second round with this new doctor and the monitoring. Pretty much the same drill as last time, minus the water ultrasound. When I finish Clomid, I start the OPKs. If I see a positive, I will go in for an ultrasound to see how many follicles matured to guess my chance of multiples. If I don't get a positive, I go in for an ultrasound and have another hCG trigger shot if everything looks ready. I'm hoping I won't need the shot this time. It was bothersome.

I've had a few people ask me about the cost of my cycle with a specialist. I know a few friends are considering seeing one, but are afraid of the cost. I don't mind breaking it down for you. This is just how much I paid (rounded to an easy amount), and it's definitely not universal for every doctor, and would depend on what treatment and medications you need. It has ended up being much less than I had anticipated. It doesn't hurt to go check it out! It's absolutely and completely worth it.

*Edit* This is what I paid straight out of pocket without help from insurance.

Appointments:

• Baseline- $200
• Follicle check- $200 
• *Second follicle check- $200 (This is not always necessary every cycle).

Medications:

• Clomid- $20 for 100mg dose. It goes up or down depending on the dose.
• hCG injection- $60
• Progesterone- $45
• Baby aspirin- Didn't cost enough to factor in. One bottle is about $3 and it lasts for about 4 months.
• Prenatal vitamins- About $5 a month.

Tools:

• Ovulation predictor kit- It costs $35, but I can use one kit for 2-3 months. So about $12 per month.

Labs:

• Blood pregnancy test- $45. 

Optional:

• Pregnancy tests- Depending on how much you test and which tests you use, this number would vary a lot. I have had good experiences with Wondfo tests through Amazon. That is to buy 50 tests in bulk for only $16. Perfect for POAS addicts like myself.
• Preseed- If you need lubrication, it's safe for sperm. Regular lube from the store has the wrong acidity and can be harmful to sperm. 
• Softcups- Holds everything in there in case you need to get up and can't lie down for a few hours.

So for one cycle, without any optional items, would be about $580.

Add in the possible extra follicle check appointment, and it would be about $780.


We will be taking a long distance trip and visiting some friends in early April, so we hope we have some very good news to share with them all in person.

Nope

Not this time. That's all I can say right now.

Quickly-

My test today was completely negative, so the trigger (which still may be in my body a tiny bit, hence the lingering symptoms) is diminished enough that the pregnancy tests aren't picking it up anymore. So, no more guessing! It'll be back to black and white as far as testing goes for the next few days of this cycle. A positive anytime after this point will be for real.

Testing Out A Trigger

Remember how I talked about some women who are obsessed and crazy and test every day to watch their trigger fade? Well... I'm included in that group.

I mostly wanted to test every day to see how long it takes the trigger to fade and be worked out of my body. Most women see a completely negative test by 10 days past the trigger. So far, the test at 10 days after the trigger is still positive. It may just be taking longer to it to leave my body, though. Who knows!

Here are the tests at 4 days past trigger, or at 3 days past ovulation. You can see how the lines are pretty strong, but fade pretty quickly!

Here is 6 days past trigger, and 5 days past ovulation. The fading slowed down a lot, and that last test actually came out darker. My theory is that the urine sample was more concentrated.

At 8 days past trigger (7 days past ovulation), still fading...

And finally to today's, 10 days past trigger, and 9 days past ovulation. Everyone keeps telling me my test should have been negative today, but we'll just have to see what happens.


Here is another shot of the tests, including today's, after it dried.

Hopefully this means good things are coming around the corner. But speculation is just speculation, after all. If I do another cycle with a trigger, I don't think I will bother to test it out. I'll know about when it should be gone from my body.

Three Year Anniversary

Today marks three years since we began trying to have a baby. If I could go back in time to that wonderful, romantic day and tell myself that three years later I would still be childless, I would never have believed myself.

Infertility is something that no one ever expects. I'm sure there are women who have family history of it, or were diagnosed with PCOS or something similar when they were young and could have a suspicion. But, for the most part, I think many couples are completely taken by surprise.

I just can't believe that it has been three years. The pain and waiting seems endless and like it's taken an eternity. And when I look back at the tests and treatments and doctor appointments, it doesn't feel like we've done that much.

I definitely didn't expect the last three years to happen. And I hope that I won't be writing a similar post to this one a year from today. I'm tired of spending my life in two week increments, of visiting doctor after doctor trying to find help. I'm tired of getting excited that I'm pregnant and having my hopes dashed, and over-analyzing early pregnancy symptoms. And, I'm tired of being passed up and getting left behind. Not like there is an order for people to have babies, but it sure feels like it should be my turn. I just hope and pray that the end of this journey is near.

Now It's Out Of My Hands

We have done everything we possibly can this cycle, and the rest is just hoping and praying and wishing now. Yesterday, I went in for another ultrasound and saw that I ended up with only one mature follicle on the left (the right one pooped out and didn't grow enough). We were a bit disappointed, because during my HSG, we saw that my left tube is a bit clogged and not open all the way. But, weird things happen, so I haven't given up hope. Hopefully we timed everything perfectly.

At the office right after the ultrasound I was given an hCG trigger shot to force ovulation, and that was it! (I will admit, I took a pregnancy test when I got home that night just to see the positive. It was freaky seeing two lines!) I also think I will test out the trigger just to see how long it lasts in my system. It can work its way out anywhere between 7-12 days.

Keep your fingers crossed and send lots of good thoughts to us!

Love/Hate

I have such a love/hate relationship with Clomid. I love it because it makes my body work the way it's supposed to, but I hate it because it makes me feel so awful! This is the fourth time I have used it, and I have had different side effects each time. So weird!

The first time, I actually felt okay. I didn't have any uncomfortable side effects. This could be because I used such a low dose.

The second time, I had really bad cramps and was super, super weepy. All. The. Time.

The third was the worst with terrible hot flashes. I felt like a menopausal woman in the south during June.

This time, it's terrible headaches, mood swings, and heartburn. The headaches are the worst because the only thing I'm allowed to take is acetaminophen, which isn't really enough to kick the bad ones! It's really bumming me out. I'm hoping this time will work so I don't have to see what future courses bring!

One thing they all have in common is the crampy, sharp pains right before and during ovulation. Clomid can really make you feel it all!

I went in for my water ultrasound today. It all looked good except for one teeny tiny polyp low down by the cervix. Luckily, it's so low down that it shouldn't affect pregnancy or prevent implantation. If I miscarry again, we'll take another look and consider having it removed with a simple surgery.

We also got to take a look and see how things are going, thanks to the Clomid. We saw two follicles: one on the right measuring 14mm, and one on the left measuring 15mm. If they mature at an average rate, they'll be ready by Friday. Hooray! It looks like when I ovulate we will have one egg dropped from either side, since usually only one side ovulates. (Most likely no twins this time). We also cleared up some of my confusion involving the OPK and its purpose. I'm to use the kit, and if I see a positive, then that's it! No need for the trigger. But, if I test and don't see a positive by Friday, I have to go back to the doctor on Saturday to make double sure they are matured, and then we'll do the trigger shot to get it all started.

What I have learned about treatment is that I can't anticipate anything. Everything has to be planned around my unpredictable body. It's very frustrating to know that I will need to go see the doctor soon, or do something soon, and not know when. That's just the planner in me! I'm lucky to have a job where I can just take off any day I need and not have to find someone to cover for me, or run it through a boss. I couldn't imagine juggling a job and a treatment schedule like this.