Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Why "Obsessed" Is Normal

I just read a short and amazing article, "10 Reasons Why 'Obsessed' is Normal" on Expectantheart.com. This applies to everyone, so please take the time to at least skim the list! For my infertile friends, this will help comfort you and make you realize that you are not alone in feeling this way! And for my other wonderful friends who take the time to come here and check up on me, I hope this can help you understand a bit what it's like month to month.

Feeling A Bit Obsessed With Having a Baby? Welcome to the club!

Your dreams of motherhood may go back as far as you can recall. It was never a question of "if" you were going to have a baby, but rather "when." You may have felt  great pride for being responsible and doing it all just right:  school, marriage, and a career. You and your husband chose a home with a spare room, perfect for a nursery, decorated in a palette of soft colors.

What happens when trying to conceive becomes a roller coaster filled with great hope and excitement only to be followed by increasing disappointment &despair?

You are ready to take action but what no one tells you is that infertility can bombard your thoughts, your time, your body and your emotions. If you are feeling obsessed, you are not alone! Join the club!

Here are 10 reasons why feeling obsessed is normal!

1.There are those daily, inescapable reminders of a very fertile world.  Around every corner lurks a pregnant woman, a cooing infant, or an adorable onesie!  (You can run but you cannot hide.)
2. For half of every month you are hoping to be pregnant so you carefully monitor what you eat, what you drink, and what medicine you can take. (No hot tub for you!)
3. Instead of escaping into mindless novels about love, travel and friendship, you find yourself scouring the internet, educating yourself about the causes and treatment of your infertility. (Not exactly Jodi Picoult's latest best seller.)
4. Your whole life has been separated into 2 week anxiety producing segments of waiting, watching and wondering. Am I ovulating? Am I PMSing? Am I pregnant? ("Am I going crazy?")
5. Before trying to conceive you may have been fairly oblivious to your monthly bodily functions, but you are now scrutinizing every twinge and secretion. (Do you recall the days when going to the bathroom just meant going to the bathroom?)
6. Playful and intimate moments with your husband have been replaced by carefully timed, "on demand" encounters. ("I don't care if you do have pneumonia, get over here!")
7. Your head is spinning as you try to schedule infertility tests and procedures around your work and home life, all the while, you're desperately hoping to maintain a tiny bit of privacy. ("I need time off work again because now my other great-grandmother died.")
8. Your mind is always racing one step ahead! What is our next option if this treatment fails?  (When you got married you never thought to include infertility treatments into your budget along side your mortgage and electricity bill.)
9. Your two closest friends have just announced that they are pregnant with their second babies. (You have most likely run out of kind and appropriate responses to the ever present question, "So, when are you going to start your family?")
10. Finally, the thought of never being a mother and going through life childless brings you unbearable and inescapable fear and grief.

So you're feeling a bit obsessed and overly focused?
Of course you are! Because you're NORMAL!  Hear me:  really, really normal.

For most of us, becoming a mother feels like a need as fundamental as breathing and eating. Even your critics would certainly feel a bit "obsessed" about air and food if it was withheld from them.