Monday, June 29, 2015

When is it Time for Round 2?

I think I'm beginning to stumble upon a huge question a lot of infertile couples eventually reach. When is it time to start trying for another baby?

Our daughter is now 15 months old, and has officially left the baby stage of life and entered into toddlerhood. We no longer have a little baby anymore, so that started making me ask if it's time.

John and I have discussed a couple of times what our plans with children look like to us. We've decided we would like to have two children, if possible. I have said for years now that I will never do infertility treatment again, and while that decision may change further down the road, I'm still sticking to that now. I just do not have the emotional or financial ability to handle it again. It's possible my tubal blockages are fixed after having a baby, since everything got all squished and pushed around, and the hormone reset may have fixed the irregular cycles. So I do have a small hope that things will be okay now.

But the issue I'm struggling with now is, when? John and I talked about having a few years in between Rosie and baby 2, which I'm okay with. I wouldn't mind having a more independent preschooler while taking care of a newborn. But what really worries me is if it takes years to conceive again. What if we wait to try to get pregnant, and that just adds to the age gap? I'd really like to not have five, six, or seven years in between my babies. I didn't have a sibling close in age to me and it was kind of sucky. I had always dreamed of having a brother or sister to play with, or want to watch the same TV shows, or have similar interests. I felt a bit lonely at home.

Then the other side of the issue is if we start trying now, what happens if I have no problems and get pregnant immediately? Are we ready for that right away? Do I want a barely 2-year-old running around making messes while I'm trying to care for a newborn on three hours of sleep? It sounds very unappealing to me, especially with our small living space we will have for the next couple years.

I guess right now it doesn't matter so much since both of us will have to be 100% on board first. I know for sure that trying right now is a no go for John. But this has been on my mind lately, and I guess I have to figure out my feelings if I want to bring it up with him again when I'm ready. And I'm trying to decide when that will be.

I can't even imagine how it feels like to decide to have a baby, and then just get pregnant in the next one to three months like most healthy couples. I just can't understand how that would feel, having it be so much easier on planning out your life.

1 comment:

Tresann Dawson said...

I totally understand your thoughts! We were having the same issues and finally after many years came to this decision:
I hope you receive your answers and receive your desired future when you want it!