No Trigger for Me!

I got a very, very pleasant surprise today when I tested with my OPK. Last cycle, I did not see an LH surge, so I had to use an hCG trigger to force my body to release the egg that had matured.

This time, I followed doctors orders by knowing-that-it-was-going-to-be-negative-so-why-am-I-wasting-my-time testing (TTC ladies will understand what I mean by that). And, shockingly, I saw this staring up at me! 

You can tell it's positive because the test line on the left is as dark, if not darker, than the control line on the right.

Or, if you don't want to guess the results with the lines, you can just read the digital window. I love that little smiley face! 

This is the earliest I have ever had a positive OPK, since I am only cycle day 12, so that added to my surprise. I still didn't believe it was a real positive for some reason, so I tested again a few hours later, and it was positive again! I can feel confident in saying that I have had an LH surge, and that I will ovulate all by myself this time! I still have an appointment tomorrow for an ultrasound. They will look to see how many follicles, if any, matured this month. Then we can know my risk of multiples in case I get pregnant this month. I may ask if I can still use my hCG trigger, because I have read a lot about how much the hCG helps with implantation if the egg were to be fertilized. I will take all the help I can get. This is exciting! Onto my two week wait!

My Current Family

Everyone who knows me knows how much I adore my cats. We got our first cat, Suki, just weeks before I found out I was pregnant the first time.

She was one of the absolute best comforts to me when I lost the baby, and has continued to be every day since. She will be turning three in May. She is my precious, and only likes me. She's definitely a one person cat. She follows me to the mailbox and back, and sleeps with me every night.

We've shared a pillow every night since the first night she came home.

We also have another cat, Momo (can you tell we like Avatar: The Last Airbender?). He was a stray that lived under a trailer at my work. One night it started snowing and hit record lows, and I laid awake all night long worrying about him freezing. The next day, I picked him up and took him home so he wouldn't have to stay one more night out in the cold.

He is one of the sweetest and friendliest cats we've ever seen. He is very cuddly, loves to play, and is really good at letting my little nephews love him in their own ways. 

Right now, that's our family. I'm so happy to share my heart with my two "fur babies."

Onward

I will begin my fifth round of Clomid tomorrow, second round with this new doctor and the monitoring. Pretty much the same drill as last time, minus the water ultrasound. When I finish Clomid, I start the OPKs. If I see a positive, I will go in for an ultrasound to see how many follicles matured to guess my chance of multiples. If I don't get a positive, I go in for an ultrasound and have another hCG trigger shot if everything looks ready. I'm hoping I won't need the shot this time. It was bothersome.

I've had a few people ask me about the cost of my cycle with a specialist. I know a few friends are considering seeing one, but are afraid of the cost. I don't mind breaking it down for you. This is just how much I paid (rounded to an easy amount), and it's definitely not universal for every doctor, and would depend on what treatment and medications you need. It has ended up being much less than I had anticipated. It doesn't hurt to go check it out! It's absolutely and completely worth it.

*Edit* This is what I paid straight out of pocket without help from insurance.

Appointments:

• Baseline- $200
• Follicle check- $200 
• *Second follicle check- $200 (This is not always necessary every cycle).

Medications:

• Clomid- $20 for 100mg dose. It goes up or down depending on the dose.
• hCG injection- $60
• Progesterone- $45
• Baby aspirin- Didn't cost enough to factor in. One bottle is about $3 and it lasts for about 4 months.
• Prenatal vitamins- About $5 a month.

Tools:

• Ovulation predictor kit- It costs $35, but I can use one kit for 2-3 months. So about $12 per month.

Labs:

• Blood pregnancy test- $45. 

Optional:

• Pregnancy tests- Depending on how much you test and which tests you use, this number would vary a lot. I have had good experiences with Wondfo tests through Amazon. That is to buy 50 tests in bulk for only $16. Perfect for POAS addicts like myself.
• Preseed- If you need lubrication, it's safe for sperm. Regular lube from the store has the wrong acidity and can be harmful to sperm. 
• Softcups- Holds everything in there in case you need to get up and can't lie down for a few hours.

So for one cycle, without any optional items, would be about $580.

Add in the possible extra follicle check appointment, and it would be about $780.


We will be taking a long distance trip and visiting some friends in early April, so we hope we have some very good news to share with them all in person.

Nope

Not this time. That's all I can say right now.

Quickly-

My test today was completely negative, so the trigger (which still may be in my body a tiny bit, hence the lingering symptoms) is diminished enough that the pregnancy tests aren't picking it up anymore. So, no more guessing! It'll be back to black and white as far as testing goes for the next few days of this cycle. A positive anytime after this point will be for real.

Testing Out A Trigger

Remember how I talked about some women who are obsessed and crazy and test every day to watch their trigger fade? Well... I'm included in that group.

I mostly wanted to test every day to see how long it takes the trigger to fade and be worked out of my body. Most women see a completely negative test by 10 days past the trigger. So far, the test at 10 days after the trigger is still positive. It may just be taking longer to it to leave my body, though. Who knows!

Here are the tests at 4 days past trigger, or at 3 days past ovulation. You can see how the lines are pretty strong, but fade pretty quickly!

Here is 6 days past trigger, and 5 days past ovulation. The fading slowed down a lot, and that last test actually came out darker. My theory is that the urine sample was more concentrated.

At 8 days past trigger (7 days past ovulation), still fading...

And finally to today's, 10 days past trigger, and 9 days past ovulation. Everyone keeps telling me my test should have been negative today, but we'll just have to see what happens.


Here is another shot of the tests, including today's, after it dried.

Hopefully this means good things are coming around the corner. But speculation is just speculation, after all. If I do another cycle with a trigger, I don't think I will bother to test it out. I'll know about when it should be gone from my body.

Three Year Anniversary

Today marks three years since we began trying to have a baby. If I could go back in time to that wonderful, romantic day and tell myself that three years later I would still be childless, I would never have believed myself.

Infertility is something that no one ever expects. I'm sure there are women who have family history of it, or were diagnosed with PCOS or something similar when they were young and could have a suspicion. But, for the most part, I think many couples are completely taken by surprise.

I just can't believe that it has been three years. The pain and waiting seems endless and like it's taken an eternity. And when I look back at the tests and treatments and doctor appointments, it doesn't feel like we've done that much.

I definitely didn't expect the last three years to happen. And I hope that I won't be writing a similar post to this one a year from today. I'm tired of spending my life in two week increments, of visiting doctor after doctor trying to find help. I'm tired of getting excited that I'm pregnant and having my hopes dashed, and over-analyzing early pregnancy symptoms. And, I'm tired of being passed up and getting left behind. Not like there is an order for people to have babies, but it sure feels like it should be my turn. I just hope and pray that the end of this journey is near.